After the election, a lesson from the buddy bench

Letter from the Editor | By Rikki Wardyn, Editor-in-Chief, Omaha Commons

After the election, I opened social media and found celebration, disappointment, and plenty of arguments. What stayed with me was how quickly some disagreements became personal.

I found myself thinking about something at my children’s former elementary school in Millard: the friendship bench.

Sometimes called a buddy bench, it gives a child who feels left out a place to sit when they want company. Other children are encouraged to notice, walk over, and invite that child to join them.

It is a simple way of helping children say something that can be difficult at any age: I would like someone to include me.

An election can leave people feeling very differently. One person feels hopeful. Another feels disappointed or afraid. For some, the outcome brings concerns about their families, livelihoods, or future. Being neighborly means making room to hear those concerns and take them seriously.

Some of us may need a little time before we are ready for a conversation. That deserves respect, too.

We can care deeply about an issue and speak firmly about it. We can ask hard questions, challenge decisions, and expect accountability. We can also remember that the person listening has experiences we may know little about.

Perhaps that is where a better conversation begins: with a little curiosity.

What has shaped this person’s view? What are they hoping for? What worries them? We may still disagree after listening, but we will know more about the person in front of us.

The buddy bench asks children to take a small first step. We have opportunities to do that, too.

Say hello to the neighbor whose yard sign differed from yours. Ask how someone is doing and give them time to answer. If a conversation grows heated, pause and return to it when you can listen to each other.

We can be kind and still set boundaries. No one needs to accept threats or mistreatment.

We share a community long after Election Day. There will still be school mornings, neighborhood gatherings, and days when any one of us could use a little company.

Perhaps today we can offer someone a greeting, a place beside us, or a few minutes of our attention. We don’t have to settle every disagreement to begin being neighbors.